For Caitlin: Challenge Accepted
by 7T7
Summary: A challenge from Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl. Includes OOCness, Caitlin as a Mary Sue, and much more other things. Flames expected. Read with your own risk. Genre: Randomosity/Romance. Doctor who just for the heck of it! Woooo plot bunniesssss...
1. Chapter 1

Challenge accepted, I said. Well actually I didn't. But still, I wrote this as a challenge from Kitty Cat Caitlin Fowl. I'm still an A/H shipper. This changes nothing. Flames excepted and extinguished with carbon dioxide. And Caitlin, I don't know anything about how you would act in this situation. And how could I? you live in {(0¤7l &= for Fronds sake. No where near Finland.

Warnings: Major OOCness, Mary Sue, Non-sense, I wrote this in 3 hours, Caitlin insertion.

Disclaimer: You have read enough of these to know what belongs here.

Artemis: You still have to say it.

Me: Shut up and _**enjoy**_ your date with Caitlin.

**Ireland, Fowl Manor**

''Really mother, a blind date? I'm not that desperate to attend in one of those.''

''It _**will**_ be fun. And you might find someone''

''When?'' Artemis knew that he could not argue with his mother. 'It's only a single date, it can't be that bad'

**Ireland, Dublin, An unnamed blind date location**

Caitlin was waiting for her date. 'I don't even know why I'm doing this. It'll just be some...' her thoughts were cut short when Artemis walked in. 'No, no it can't be'

Artemis stared at the obviously surprised girl. 'Not that bad... What am I thinking? Nah! Did I just think nah? What's wrong with me?'

''Uh, Hello, who would you be?'' 'Really? Uh? That isn't even a word! Damn it.'

''I'm Caitlin, and you'' 'It can't be, just can not be'

''Artemis Fowl''

Caitlin's pupils dilated but she managed to keep her composure. In a way.

''Shall we go to a restaurant or something'' Artemis continued, as the girl was in obvious shock. Then he realised what he had said. 'Or SOMETHING? What the F.A.K.?'

''Oh, okay, where would you like to go?''

''Somewhere nearby''

**Nearby Restaurant**

''What are _you_ doing on a blind date anyway?'' Caitlin asked.

''Isn't it normal?''

''Yes, but _you_ on a date? How absurd is that?''

''Oh yes absurd indeed'' 'She's a serious stalker or I'm going crazy'

''Like shouldn't you be with Holly or *shudders* Minerva?''

''Okay. Who are you and how do you know?''

''Oh right. I'm not supposed to know about Fairies and your life.''

''What?'' 'Okay I'm going crazy, like really crazy. Any time now I'm going to wakeup in my bed or a mental hospital'

''Yes, I know but let's continue our date? Please?''

Artemis regained himself and took a bite from his food.

''Okay but we are going to talk when we get home''

Caitlin's pupils dilated for the second time that night 'I'm going into Fowl Manor, _with_ Artemis?'

**Ireland, Fowl Manor**

''So when we go in many things are going to happen, okay?''

''Like what''

''Mother will most likely faint and Juliet too''

''Oh, that kind of things. I can imagine''

They entered the house. No one fainted. Everyone just stared. Butler was the first to get a hold of himself. He then cleared his throat rather loudly and everyone went back to normal.

''That went better than expected'' Artemis said while taking Caitlin's jacket and hanging it on a coat rack. Then Artemis shoved (sorry, showed) her to his room and had a long discussion of how does Caitlin know everything that she knows. They were just leaving his room when Artemis spoke.

''By the way, what's your surname?''

''Er, Smith''

''You aren't fooling _me _with that''

''Okay, okay my surname is Fowl''

''What?''

*shows passport*

''I just hope that you aren't a missing sister of mine or something like that'' Artemis said, then realised what he said and then the fact that it was true.

''Why?''

''No particular reason, just forget I said anything okay?''

''Okay...So what were you doing on a blind date anyway?''

''Ask mother''

''Ah, I understand''

They walked into the living room where Artemis' mother was waiting to bombard the two with embarrassing questions about what they did in Artemis' room and how did the date go.

Artemis sat on a couch opposite to Angelie and Caitlin sat next to him.

''So, how did'' She was cut short by his son.

''Before you ask, the date went well and we _talked_ in my room'' Artemis said with a tone that told Angelie that if there had happened anything else, she would have to inject him with truth serum to hear about it.

''Okay, I get it. Have you even kissed yet?''

''Yes'' Caitlin said

''No'' Artemis said, at the same time.

Angeline chuckled. Artemis and Caitlin blushed.

''I take that as a no. And I'm going to fix that''

Artemis felt shudders in his spine. This was no good.

''How is she going to do that?'' Caitlin whispered in Artemis' ear.

Angeline of course, heard this. ''Look up'' And they did.

''Mom, it isn't even Christmas''

''I know that, but it still has the same effect''

''Really? Mistletoe? You don't need that'' Caitlin said and kissed Artemis, on the lips.

Artemis tensed, not exactly used to kissing, but soon relaxed and started kissing her back. Caitlin broke the kiss gasping for air.

''Where did she go?'' Caitlin asked. Angeline had exited the room when she noticed that she wasn't needed any more.

''I don't know, or care'' Artemis said and kissed her again, this time ringing his hand into her hair.

End Notes: There you go Caitlin, If you want more, demand.

The real Artemis: Please, don't.

Me: Just because of that, I'm going to write more tomorrow.

-7T7


	2. Chapter 2

As promised, chapter 2.

Warnings: Same as before, this is proving that the rating is, in fact, T.

Then Juliet walked in the room.

''Omg, omg, Arty is making out with someone!?''

''Juliet don't call me that and go away''

Juliet grabs a video camera from somewhere and starts recording. To counter Artemis takes his phone from his pocket, activates couple of things and Juliet's camera went "BZZZzzzzz..." and shut off.

''Arty you know you can't do that, it's unfair''

''I already did.'' Artemis stood got up, which was pretty hard because Caitlin had ended up on him.

''Where are you going Arty'' She asked.

''Into my room, feel free to join me.'' Caitlin's face lit up and she answered

''Of course''

Juliet wasn't happy. She wanted a video that she could use as blackmail. Artemis did have cameras in his room but they were locked by a password. And Juliet knew as much about computer as Artemis knew about braiding hair. 'Maybe Myles knows about this?' Juliet thought as she ran to the twins room.

''Myles help me blackmail your big brother!''

''Most certainly Juliet'' Myles' only wanted to get his hands on Artemis' computer but he couldn't do it by himself as only Juliet, Butler and Artemis himself could get into his study.

**Artemis' Room**

''What are you doing Artemis?'' Caitlin asked, frustrated.

''Un-wiring the cameras, we wouldn't want Juliet somehow recording us, eh?''

After he got the cameras down, Artemis attacked Caitlin's lips and fell down to his bed with her. Artemis tangled his hand into her short light brown hair while sliding his tongue along her lips requesting entry. Caitlin wanted to tease him but her own desire took over and she parted her lips, starting a battle between their tongues.

**Haven, Police Plaza, Ops Booth**

Foaly was astonished. He had just witnessed the most anti-social human ever advance on a girl. He called Holly.

''You _have to_ see this.''

''See wha-'' She was cut short when Foaly opened live-feed from Artemis' room in her helmet.

''Is that really Artemis?''

''Yes''

''I'm so sending this to Juliet''

''My website is going viral.''

''You wouldn't''

''Already did''

''You do realise that Artemis is going to take down your website''

''I'd like to see him try''

**Ireland, Fowl Manor**

Juliet's phone beeped and she took it, stared at the preview of the email and opened it. ''Thank you Holly'' She whispered.

''Myles you are not longer required'

''What?''

''I did it my self'' She lied, but showed Myles the footage.

''How? When? What?''

''I'm not so bad with computers after all''

Myles went back to his room and told Becket what happened, then they both just tried to keep their mind from exploding.

**Artemis' room**

''Mmh...Arty...'' Caitlin was in heaven. (Completely reasonable) So was Artemis. He didn't even care that this girl knew everything about him and the fairies. 'Actually that helps. No more of those awkward "Fairies are real talks"' Artemis broke their kiss, panting.

''Caitlin, I love you''

Caitlin didn't say anything. She just kissed him again while taking her phone and dialled 07700 900461.

Moments later a familiar shrieking sound was heard and a blue box materialised next the still kissing pair.

''Oh, Hello Caitlin. Did you call by accident? Seems you're pretty..occupied.''

''No no I called yo-mmh-for a reason.''

''Well then. Allons-Y!''

Artemis didn't bother asking what was happening but when he got up and saw the Tardis in front of him, he knew what was happening. His favoutrite and only TV-show that he ever watched had happened. In his room.

''What are you waiting for Arty, Come in'' Caitlin asked, already in the blue box.

''This is the best blind date my mother has ever forced me to go''

''I know Arty, I know''

End Notes: I'm officially dead if someone I know ever reads this. Hmm.. It seems that you have written a fic where a girl that you have never met makes out with a fictional character. Not weird at all. Also listening to [Sean&BOBO – Bitches] while writing. I'm going crazy with this story.

-7T7


	3. Chapter 3

And another chapter. Woot. (Caitlin's constant "Write moar" might have something to do with it) Song [Rootkit- Real Love ft. Danyka Nadeau]

I forgot this last time. Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or Doctor Who. Am I missing something? Oh right, do not own Caitlin either. On with the fic.

**Time and Space Continuum, Tardis**

''So you are real''

''Yes. But I could say the same thing about you, Artemis Fowl''

''Oh come on don't confuse the little boy'' Rose said while giving the doctor a small peck on the cheek.

''What you, how? She was trapped into another dimension''

''Where do you get these kids who know everything?''

''They just appear. And happen to like each other.''

Artemis ignored what the Doctor just said and started to analyse Tardis' various control panels.

''You don't even know how that thing works'' The Doctor said while pointing a his sonic screw driver.

''Matter of fact, I do.'' Artemis took the Sonic and flicked the switch on it.

''Oh, what do you think you're doing?''

''I have been researching this "things" various settings and now, utilizing setting 5B and 924,8 together I have made this, well see for yourself''

Artemis said and pointed a wooden drawer. A little buzzing later, the drawer opened.

''What?! That. Is. _**NOT. **_Possible.''

''I've heard that before. Here, try it yourself''

Artemis tossed the screwdriver for the doctor and continued his research on the control panels. Rose couldn't help than laugh at the relatively mind blown doctor, who was staring his screwdriver like it was going to disappear the moment he would lift his gaze off. "Impossible" she heard him mutter.

Caitlin was getting frustrated as Artemis' attention was only on the various buttons and switches. She then dragged Artemis off of Tardis' console and showed him her room that the Tardis had made. It was rather small. There was a bed with some storage drawers under it, a window to the time flow and a bookshelf. Oh and of course there was Caitlin. On the bed. Looking completely innocent. Artemis tried, he really tried to ignore her but... he could have tried a little harder. Like, even avert his eyes.

**Moments later, behind Caitlin's door**

Rose decided never, ever again to eavesdrop the young pair. At least when they were together. And having a false sense of privacy. It was just too much. Rose got up from her squatting position and turned. And crashed into the Doctor.

''Had fun eavesdropping?'' He asked.

''I'm tired of that big mouth of yours. But there is one good thing about it.''

''And what would that be?''

''It's _soo_ easy to shut''

''Oh real-mm...''

''See?''

**Haven, Police Plaza, Ops Booth**

Foaly was mind blown. The bug that he had in Artemis' C Cube which, he always carried with him, was transmitting the most unbelievable data to him. He didn't even know how it was possible. If he believed the data, his C Cube was currently in a time tunnel of some sort. And if that was the case, there was no way that the C Cube would transmit to him.

'Wait a minute. The C Cube has silver in it. Silver anchors the feed into the correct time and *Mind blown, again*' 'Some piece of technology.'

''What are you doing Foaly?'' Holly asked.

''What? Oh, nothing special''

''Well stop staring into space then! You look like an idiot. That doesn't fit you''

'Staring into space. If only you knew' ''Yeah yeah, you just keep doing * glances at screen * you usually do...''

''What in the Frond's name is happening there''

''Arty is happening. And if from what I'm understanding a time travelling weirdo who has two hearts (C Cube x-ray) is making out with some kind of magic-infused-human (C Cube) behind his door!? * the usual mind blow hand motion *''

''You need meds, Foaly. You really do.''

**T.A.R.D.I.S.**

''Rose, we have landeee...Don't do that.''

Artemis bursts through the door.

''I heard the brakes screech, you shouldn't leave them on like that, where are we?''

Doctor hands him a random mirror from somewhere.

''Oh, excuse me for a moment'' Artemis said and slipped back into Caitlin's room.

''I'm so glad that you don't wear lipstick Rose''

''Why?''

''Well imagine this. We get a call from someone who need our help and then we arrive, I step out of the Tardis, my face full of lipstick. Doesn't exactly give the right image.''

''Oh you think so?''

''Or if we just go to a random planet and someone sees us come out of a small phone box, and again, my face full of lipstick''

''Certainly the, I'm here to save you all kind of image that you want''

Artemis comes out of the room, this time, his face clean.

''So where are we?''

''I don't know, but let's go find out''

''Allons-Y?''

''Not so fast Arty'' Caitlin said and pulled him back to her room.

''We'll go see where we are while you two..do what you do''

''Yeah you go do tha-'' Artemis mumbled behind the door.

**Meanwhile (Or a little after what happened here before? Fuck time travel) at Haven, Police Plaza, Ops Booth**

''Holly, Artemis is in year 2147!''

''You really, really need those meds Foaly. I could call Argon to check up on you''

''No watch this''

Foaly sent the video feed from the C Cube to into Holly's helmet.

''What is that place?''

''I don't know but he's with his girlfriend, a guy who they call The Doctor, and his girlfriend Rose, who happens to be infused with some kind of time energy and more magic than the People have ever had!''

''Slow down Foaly. How did they get there?''

''With a blue phone box that is bigger on the inside and is really a spaceship that can also travel in time! And Artemis or his girlfriend don't seem to give a Fronding fuck about it, it's like they have always known about this''

''Did you say The Doctor and a blue phone box?''

''Yes, what about it?''

Holly face palmed. Foaly was the biggest nerd ever and did not know about Doctor Who!?

''Watch Doctor Who, NOW!''

''How is that going to help to understand this?!''

''Just do it!''

And Foaly did. And for the next week he didn't do anything else. After that Artemis had already came back from the time travelling trip, because time travel. (I don't know. Don't ask. This doesn't have to have logic. Shut up)

**Sahara, 2147**

''So where are we?'' Asked while he stumbled from the Tardis.

''Sahara''

''What year?''

''2147''

''Oh that makes sense'' Artemis said while watching the huge city before him.

''What makes sense?'' Caitlin asked as she almost tripped on Artemis while coming out from the Tardis. ''Oh we're at Sahara''

Artemis was surprised that Caitlin knew where they where but reasoned that she had been here before.

''So why are we here?'' Artemis asked.

''I don't know. The Tardis usually goes where me and Rose are needed but I don't know why we are here''

''Maby she knew that you need a vacation''

''She? The Tardis is now a she?'' Rose asked.

''Yes, yes. Like you said these kids know everything.''

''Shall we go then?'' Artemis asked.

''Allons-y!''

The group jumped from the dyne, rolling down it.

''That wasn't the smartest decicion of my life'' Artemis said while trying to get up from the sand. Instead of standing, he tripped and landed next to Caitlin.

''I never thought that I'd see the great Artemis Fowl trip in front of me'' Caitlin said while trying to get up herself. She ended up falling on Artemis. ''Or that I'd ever fall on him''

''Come on you two we're waiting'' Rose yelled to them.

''Yeah, coming''

And so they got up, and joined with the Doctor and Rose.

End Notes: Next Chapter: Sahara!


End file.
